If your mind’s stories go unchecked, it may be challenging to discern the illusion from reality. Whether they are perceived as good or bad does not matter. What you believe is what you live.
As you sit with your paints and pencils, notice how they move across the page. Observe what is happening and try to withhold judgment. If you do start to criticize—or praise— the marks, your movements, acknowledge it. As you breathe, notice where those thoughts go. Are they still gripping you? Are you still gripping on to them? Have you both been released?
Focus on the tangible. The paint. The pencil. The paper. The painting that is forming. You, here in this space with everything else. All of that is real.
I have never been one who comes across as “a force to be reckoned with.” I’m usually quiet and in the background. I have a habit of letting others speak and express their “expertise.” People get used to that, so when I behave differently, somehow I’m wrong.
Of course, my ego gets annoyed, and I have animated conversations with myself about how most of my actions are informed and intentional and how so-and-so needs to be knocked off their pedestal. I then attack myself for playing the part of imbecile. I question if I do that because that’s me or because that’s what people expect.
I don’t know. I sincerely mean that. I do not know. I could speculate, but that often leads to more unfounded stories of the mind. More importantly, how much weight do others’ opinions bear?
How much of our being is predicated on how we will be perceived? Further, how do the various tools of communication influence perceptions and presentations of self? How does any or all of this affect our actions or inactions?
How much does our opinion of ourselves shape who we are?
